


The Furby Story

by kishiriaz



Category: Horus Heresy - Various Authors
Genre: Gen, Silly, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:37:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3865447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishiriaz/pseuds/kishiriaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Super short and silly.  Wasn't my idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Furby Story

“My lord,” Lucius of the Emperor’s Children addressed Sanguinius, “Lord Commander Eidolon wishes to present this to you and Lord Horus, in hopes that it may bring consolation to you in your time of grief.”

Sanguinius looked down with curiosity dulled by sorrow. He was seated in his customary throne to receive the III Legion captain, dressed in partial armour. “Any comfort is welcome, Captain Lucius.”

Lucius handed the IX Legion primarch the wrapped box he was holding. Sanguinius opened it to reveal the furry doll inside.

“It’s very…I must say I’ve never been given anything quite like it,” Sanguinius said diplomatically.

“It’s called a ‘Furby’, Primarch Sanguinius. It contains an artificial intelligence that allows it to go from babbling in ‘Furbish’ to speaking phrases in Gothic. Lord Commander Eidolon thought that perhaps an interactive soft toy might be a distraction.”

Sanguinius continued to stare at it. “What an interesting notion. You must convey my thanks.”

He continued to hold the toy as Lucius made his exit.

“That thing makes me nervous,” Horus confessed as he and Sanguinius sipped wine and watched a movie together. The Furby was sitting on a nearby bookshelf.

“Fawoo,” it announced.

“The way it responds when we look at it is just eerie,” Horus went on. “Tell me you don’t think it’s cute.”

“I don’t, but it was a gift, and I need to at least consider it in the spirit it was given. Honestly, there is something mildly terrifying about it. I don’t know if it’s the mutant owl face it has or the way the eyes move when it speaks.”

“Famoo,” the Furby added.

“A bit of both, I would say,” Horus said. “Anyway, this is almost the end of the movie, I want to see it. “

Halfway through the mad actress slowly descending the staircase, the Furby made a noise that sounded like “sams”.

The two primarchs looked at each other, as they hadn’t given it any reason to react.

The mad actress stalked with insanity-glazed eyes towards the camera and said she was ready for her close-up.

“Samus,” the Furby said.

“Did you hear that?” Horus asked.

“Hear what?” Sanguinius had his eyes fixed on the screen.

“Samus.”

“That!”

Sanguinius looked towards the bookshelf. The Furby looked at him and said very clearly, “Samus. Samus is here.”

“Oh shit,” said Horus. “I knew it was eerie.”

“Samus. That’s the only name you’ll hear,” it went on in its piping, baby voice. “Samus. It means the end and the death. “

“San,” Horus said, trying not to move his lips, “where’s your heavy bolter?”

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Sisterofsilence made me do it. She kept insisting that she wanted to see what would happen if there was a Furby in the Horus Heresy universe. I wasn't in the generation that had Furbies; in my day you put a Black Sabbath cassette tape in a Teddy Ruxpin, so I don't know which is worse.


End file.
